NaNoWriMoh My God That's a Lot of Words....

Hello again, my lovelies!

So, It's November. Around these parts that means National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo for short). The quick version is that it's a challenge to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. No small task. There's no major prize except the ability to say "I wrote a novel last month" and an Internet badge but, hey, that's still pretty amazing. Friends of mine have participated for a couple years now and I decided to jump on the band wagon. Except I'm cheating a little bit. Instead of novel I'm challenging myself to write a blog post every day. I might not post them up every time but I have to write a complete post every day and total fifty thousand words by the end of the month. Sure it's not the exact challenge but the spirit is the same, right? In the process of all this, it got me really looking at this Blog and I realized I have hardly any useful information in here. Most of my posts are simply a recap of what's been happening in my life which is not at all what I intended. I doubt even my family finds such things terribly interesting. So, I shall try my darnedest to only write about useful information. You know, the actual methods and how-to steps of running a modern household with old school techniques . . . like I created this Blog to do in the first place!

That being the case, what you do, my dear readers (assuming someone other than me is reading this thing) want to know about? Do you want recipes for home cooked meals? Or perhaps a how to on making your own bath products? Do you need to know how to treat issues of illnesses and injuries without lab created goods? Do you want reviews of products? What else would you like to see here? Let me know!

Mama, I'm Coming Home

So there's been major upheaval in our world. Himself decided enough was enough at his old company and found a much better offer in our hometown. The good part is that his pay is increased with this position and we are once again close to family so Baby Alex will have plenty of quality time with both sets of Grandparents and the Uncles. The bad is that we had to move. I'm glad of the actual move to speak the truth. As much as I complained about our hometown before we left, I found that I really missed it once we were gone. Perhaps not the town itself but more the people in it and the support that comes with it. The past two years being away from that were very difficult. Even more once the kiddo came into the picture. I found myself battling mild depression more often than not and it really affected the little things of daily life. Little things which turned into big things. But, I won't go down that road. It's a dark one of self  loathing and I'm simply going to shut the door on it and walk away into the sunrise of better days.

The interesting part of all of this is that we have moved in with my parents and plan to live here until we have our nest egg back. (Or until I lose my sanity, whichever comes first.) It's really nice to have extra hands taking care of Baby Alex who isn't so much a baby anymore but a toddler with oodles of energy. It's so shocking to see how much can be done by the little one with no help from us. He feeds himself most of the time (often getting quite upset if we try to help) and has become quite a chatter box. He uses a mish-mash of English, Baby babble, and America Sign Language.

Many people are surprised that he knows ASL and are confused at best as to why a non-deaf child would be taught Sign Language. The short answer is that it it makes my life simpler. ASL provides a way for Baby A to communicate with me for words he simply doesn't have the finesse for. This provides less frustration on both our parts and a heck of a lot less tears. Honestly, it really wasn't that hard for either of us to learn. Mostly we just use basic words for everyday life with a baby: diaper, milk, bath, eat, more, all done, help, up, down, and please. Once he picks one up, we introduce another one a few days later and link them up so he can connect the meaning and not simply mimic the action. He picked up "please" first (such good manners from the start!) and to that we added "more". Then once he had the motion for "more" down we linked the two so he could ask for "more, please." After that, we taught him "all done" so he could signal that he was through with feeding time. Then it was "eat" so he could ask for food when he was hungry. Then "milk" for when he was thirsty. "Diaper" and "bath" got grouped with "milk" for the bedtime ritual. "Up" came from after sleeping and wanting out of his crib and "down" was after that. "Help" is the newest addition and "kiss" is currently being worked on. If I ever figure out how to add video in here I may post up examples but for now, I must feed the little one before he gets hangry.

In the mean time, do any of you do ASL with your young ones? Share your experiences, I'd love to hear them!

2014? When did that happen?

Well, in a week and a half we will be having Baby A's first birthday.

I can't believe that we survived it intact.

And by intact I mean that we are all still breathing, still eating, and have a roof over our heads.  Everything else ends up being secondary. Baby A has turned out to be more of a handful than we ever imagined.

Thank goodness for the Internet. Advice, knowledge, and support right at my fingertips. It has been a life saver. . . or at least a sanity saver.

I'm still hoping that Baby A will settle into himself as he gets older and I can start getting myself back. Or at least a few hours of time to do something I love other than taking care of Baby A.

But first, cleaning needs to get done. I have a whole list of spring cleaning that needs to happen and it's almost summer!

Lies My Doctors Told Me

Calm yourselves, my lovelies. Nothing drastic has happened.

Today's title is more about the differences in what new moms are told to expect and what my reality was like . . . and how the difference can cause some big confusions that may lead some to make hasty decisions.

Lie #1: You'll know you're in labor when your contractions last for at least one minute and are five minutes or less apart.

For most women, this is probably a good rule of thumb. For me, I was in active labor long before my contractions regulated to this standard and only after medication. If I had waited for the rule of thumb, my life and Little Alex's would have been in serious danger. The best rule of thumb? Trust your gut. If you think you are in labor, call your doctor and let them know what is going on. Most of the time, if you are close enough to your due date, they'll at least have you come into the office to check your dilation and contractions and decide from there. If you ever feel like your doctor is blowing you off and you feel something is just not right and you think you need to get seen by a medical professional, GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. ER doctors see people for something that isn't an emergency all the time. In fact, unless they work at a state funded teaching hospital in a large city, most ER staff see maybe 5 or 6 big emergencies in a month. Never feel like you can't go to an emergency room because you don't think your issue is serious enough. Many serious issues are only discovered because the patient "just didn't feel right" and wanted to get seen right away. If you don't feel like going to the ER but think you might need a doctor, at least get yourself to an urgent care center. Sure, Urgent Care and ER visits are more expensive than a trip to your doctor's office but can you really put a price on your peace of mind and health? Nah . . . I didn't think so.

Lie #2: When you are breastfeeding, if your baby has a good latch, it won't hurt. The truth is when you are breastfeeding, if your baby has a good latch, it won't hurt eventually. I do understand why the L&D nurses and Lactation Consultants at the hospitals say this. So many women choose not to breastfeed for fear of the pain and with breast milk being so superior to formula, the medical community wants to encourage new moms to breastfeed from day 1 and ease their fears. For me, those first two weeks of breastfeeding hurt. It really, REALLY hurt. Don't get me wrong, the first couple of days were awkward but not bad. But each days got more and more uncomfortable. I was sure I was doing something wrong. After all, the staff at the hospital said it wouldn't hurt if he was latched properly and since I was sore with every feeding, that must mean he isn't latched right which obviously means he isn't getting enough milk and hence, I'm failing at breastfeeding and as a mother, right?

WRONG!

Let's face it, unless you have a super spicy love life (Hey, I'm not judging! If you do, rock it!) your poor nipples aren't accustomed to being sucked on for 10 - 45 minutes at a time every one to three hours. All that suction takes its toll and it'll take a few weeks for your nipples to toughen up. Once THAT happens, THEN it shouldn't hurt. So then the question becomes how do I survive until then?

Take your medicines.

I'm not usually an advocate for pharmacological treatments but my darlings you will do so much better taking those medicines. For starters, taking those pain meds will allow you to get up and walk around and that is the best way to get back to feeling like the superwoman you are.

It will also allow you to get up and take a shower. Trust me, my lovelies, a simple shower goes a long way towards feeling human. Himself and I took advantage of having the nursery watch Little Alex so he could help me shower. You WILL want this. You will be tired. You will be sore. You will probably feel like you've been sitting in a muddy swamp after the first 24 hours has passed. A long hot shower will be pure bliss. Have your partner with you and get super pampered by having them do all the work for you. After all, you just spent 9 months turning food into a person and then pushed that watermelon-sized human being out of a space that only gets as big as a lemon. You deserve a break. (It's the only one you'll get from now on, Mommy.)

Get your beloved to scrub you down, wash your hair (Robert Redford that shit), and maybe even massage your muscles a bit. Remember to be gentle with the muscle rubs. You've probably had a lot of needle sticks and those hurt when pressed. This is supposed to feel nice, not ouchy. I also packed myself a nice spray of my favorite soothing essential oils. It's super simple to make; just get a travel sized spritz bottle and put a total of 25-30 drops of your favorite scents. I used Lavender and Geranium for their calming effect. They have the added bonus of being anti-microbial and anti-bacterial.

Your pain meds will also help dull the ouch of your little piglet suckling until your nipples toughen. I'll be brutally honest with you ladies: Breastfeeding is not easy for the first month. It's not terribly comfortable during that time and it takes a little while before you and baby get the hang of all the nuances. You have positioning to get down, latch, timing, frequency, plus your own milk production and flow rate has to adjust to your bairn's feeding demands. Not at all a simple thing. I promise you, it gets SO much better. Rather quickly, too. Once you get through that first month, you'll wonder how you ever thought it was difficult. And it is so worth it. Not only from a nutritional and health standpoint (which you can read about in just about every baby guide. Heck, even formula companies will tell you "Breast is Best") but from an emotional standpoint as well. There have been some hard days with Little Alex. Sometimes I am not fully sure that I will survive this whole motherhood thing. But then I sit down for a feeding, hold him in my arms and those big blue eyes look up at me.... Pure heaven. I'll go into the whole breastfeeding thing in another post. There's simply too much to put in this one.

Just note that Breastfeeding = best feeling ever.

Lie #3: If you don't have a birth plan written out, you won't get the birth experience you want.

Here's the deal. Yes, you should know what you want, what you are and aren't comfortable with and what you feel would give you the most positive experience for the delivery of your baby. You and your doctor should go over what each of you expect to happen and what you each consider standard procedure. Some doctors, for example, only have women deliver in the commonly seen reclining position. Other doctors will encourage multiple delivery positions based on the mother's body, stamina, and baby's size and position. Some hospitals allow the whole family in the room from start to finish. Others only allow the staff and the mother's partner. Hopefully, your doctor will go over these things with you around 28 weeks. Once your doctor knows what your preferences are (and that's really all a birth plan is: a list of preferences) start preparing for worst case scenarios. Accept that nothing in your birth plan will happen.

Sure, that sounds harsh and frightening. The truth is that once sperm meets egg, your control over the situation and your body have gone bye-bye. The sooner you accept that, the less stressed you will be. Things are going to happen, and probably not the way you want them to. You do what you can to take care of yourself and your baby, but ultimately, its all in the hands of genetics. Just roll with it and be informed. The more knowledge you have about the situation the more in control you will feel and the better you can make the right decision for you and your baby.

I think that will be all for now. I'm sure I'll think of more later and if I do, I'll make sure to do a follow-up posting!

Bringing up Baby

When last I left you, I gave an abbreviated account of my delivery experience. Yes, my darlings, I shall go into more detail of the nuances I experienced, but not just yet.

Today is simply another brief rundown of what as occupied my days in the time I have been away.

Post delivery I had another three days in hospital while my blood pressure and such leveled out and the medical team made sure I was not likely to curl up toes and expire on them. Himself slept more deeply than either of us ever thought possible that first evening, but I was more jittery than a rabbit in a cage from the excitement of officially being a mother and the massive amount of adrenaline my body had pumped through my system to push that baby OUT.

Many, many, many people giving advice to new moms will say to let your little one spend the first night in the nursery and have the staff bring your bundle of joy to you for feedings only and take the advantage of free babysitters and sleep. If you are tired, by all means, do this. It is nice to have someone take care of the tike for you while you grab a few z's. Me? I was wide awake. And had no real expectations of sleep any time soon. So, once the nursery had Little Alex cleaned and inspected and given all his pokes and prods required, I had him room in with us every night. I was of the mind that the nurses would wake me up to feed him every two hours anyway and I would be wondering about how he was doing if he were away, so might as well just keep him close.

Friends and family visited often and everyone simply gushed over how adorable and perfect Little Alex was (and is, of course) and how he looked to be an old soul. I must admit, he did not seem a newborn at all. From the very beginning he was looking and acting much older than one would expect. Himself loves to tell the story of how he steeled himself for the oddness of how a newborn looksn how he had to keep reminding himself to keep calm and remember that newborns will have funny shaped heads, and scream a lot, and be odd colors, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. But not so with our little one. True, his head was slightly oblong during the first few hours but even that was barely noticeable. He was a healthy pink almost immediately and his skin was hardly wrinkled. He cried for a minute or two until placed on my chest and when our eyes met, he calmed.

To speak the truth, I barely remember the actual moments of delivery. I remember the sensations, the emotional reactions and being very aware. But the details of everything are long forgotten. It could be from the medications, or simply the blur of so much happening so fast. Either are equally reasonable explanations.

Amazingly, he was very easy to care for that first week. He was predictable in the feedings and had a perfect latch from the very start. There was a hitch in that my production was not satisfying his demands and Little Alex's weight dropped a little more than the normal amount. But, as both of us were healthy otherwise, the hospital sent us home under the strict condition that he be seen by his pediatrician within two days. (They would not process the discharge papers until they spoke with the office confirming my appointment to ensure this.)

Himself is lucky enough to work with a company that offers a full two weeks of paternity leave. Our intentions were for him to take the first week off and save the remaining days for holidays and such. Things did not quite work out that way. Do you know the old quote "Man plans, the Gods laugh"? This is painfully true once children are thrown into the mix.

During Little Alex's second week, his feedings became very difficult. He fussed and screamed and arched away from me after only a few minutes. I was growing confused but at our pediatrician appointments, he was gaining weight well and his latch was still perfect. I couldn't figure out what was going on.

Then the spit-up started.

Now I know babies spit up. And I know it can often look like quite a lot. But this was different. It wasn't the normal spit up, it looked like he had just held the milk in his mouth and pushed it right out. Very odd to me, but I counted it as something I simply hadn't run into when dealing with newborns and simply kept an eye on him guessing it would get more to the normal consistency soon enough. Of course, it didn't. Instead Little Alex started with projectile spit up. Spit up with so much force behind it that it would miss him, my shoulder, and the back of the couch and hit the floor a good foot behind me. THIS was NOT normal.

Himself had returned to work as planned a few days before and I called him up in a tizzy, convinced that something was horrifically wrong with our child. He was infinitely more practical and reminded me to call the doctor to get the baby checked by a true professional before flying into full hysterics.

Listening to his wise advice, I called the pediatrician's office and they had me bring in the little one for an evaluation. Himself left work early to join us being the wonderful and involved father that he is.

When all questions were answered and all explanations of Little Alex's behaviors offered, the doctor informed us that our poor bairn was suffering from Gastroesophageal Reflux Disorder (or GERD for short). Relieved that it was not a serious condition but still downhearted that our little one was in pain when eating, I had myself a little cry shelled out the $76 for infant Zantac.

Loathed to suffer my child to foul tasting medication for the first six months of his life, I also contacted my father's cousin, Kathleen, who is a lactation consultant and natural medicine advocate to see if there was something I could do to help Little Alex's tummy pains and ditch the medication.

Kathleen was our savior. I will do another article on what she advised and how we were able to get Little Alex's GERD under control and drop the Zantac altogether.

Now, Alex is coming up to the three month mark and is thriving beautifully. Himself and I are also back to feeling like we have our lives back again and not the constant chaos that comes with adjusting to the care of a newborn.

Now if only I could find a way to make time stand still for a while to truly enjoy each moment with him....

Hello, Mommy!

OK, so it has been a while....

I have missed you all, my lovelies, but motherhood took some getting used to. So much has happened I hardly know where to begin!

Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

Shortly after my 34 week appointment, things became a bit complicated with the pregnancy. My blood pressure started climbing as did my protein levels. This raised a bit of concern with the good doctor and I was put on a constant watch for Preeclampsia. My activity level had to be reduced and my fluid intake increased, plus a Non-Stress Test for Little Alex. I was growing bigger by the day and becoming very uncomfortable but the wee bairn was not looking like he would be ready to arrive any time soon.

The weeks ticked down but my blood pressure kept creeping higher and higher. The final week before my due date, the good doctor was growing quite concerned and my body was not near enough to a deliverable state; there was talk of induction. Little Alex seemed to take the hint because a few days later, I started having some serious contractions. Two days after that (and two days before my Due Date) I was admitted to the hospital for delivery.

Many expectant mothers worry if they might mistake false labor for true labor and vicea-versa. Believe me, there is no questioning which is which. You will know. Not only is the pain very different, but your instincts will kick in. It was certainly clear to me. The only tricky part of knowing when to go to the hospital for me was the fact that my contractions never got into a predictable rhythm on their own.

The contractions started around 3 am on the Wednesday before my Due Date. I started timing them, as you are supposed to, and they showed to be roughly 60- 90 minutes long each time but they bounced around from being two minutes apart to six minutes apart and then 15 minutes apart. I found this odd, but they were significantly stronger than anything I had ever experienced. So, Himself and I packed the car with our bags, called up the good doctor, explained what I was feeling and was advised to keep timing them. Unless they got stronger, longer, and closer together before 8 she would see me at my regularly scheduled appointment that morning. Of course, they did not change their intensity, frequency or duration and at the appointment I was examined and the good doctor said that Little Alex wasn't coming quite yet but I was certainly in the early stage of labor and that sometime between thirty minutes to three days from that time, we were sure to meet our son. (Three days being the scheduled induction.) I went home, in no less pain, but no closer to "go time". Himself went to work and I spent the rest of the day with my eyes and fingers glued to the stopwatch. Alack, no change.

3 am Thursday rolls around and I cannot stand it anymore. I call the good doctor again and explain what I am feeling and took a guess that the contractions were stronger. They most likely were but the increase was so gradual, I was not completely sure. I simply knew I needed to go to the hospital.

So, with the car already loaded with our birthing gear, away we went in the dark of night, both Himself and I trembling with excitement and fear. (Let's face it, having a baby is a scary thing. A breathtaking, amazing, beautiful, and completely wonderful thing, but a scary thing.) We arrived, found a parking space, decided to leave our bags in the trunk until we had a room, and made our way to the maternity ward. I was affixed to monitors, poked and prodded and set-up with an IV and we all waited to see if I would be admitted or not.

We waited....

. . . and waited . . .

and waited.

My dilation was not progressing, nor were my contractions indicating that labor was progressing. However, my blood pressure was continuing to go up as were my protein levels so it was eventually decided that I would be admitted. We sent word to family and friends that we were officially in birthday countdown and made our way to the labor and delivery room.

Things went well for a while. The contractions were intense but manageable as long as I was able to stand and move my hips to ease the muscles and let my body do what it needed in preparation for delivery. For a time, anyway.

It seemed that I was not destined for a "natural" childbirth as I had worked out in my head. My blood pressure was soaring dangerously high as were my protein levels and I officially crossed over the threshold and into full-fledged preeclampsia. Little Alex was not taking the stress of the irregular contractions well and though not in immediate danger, his little heartbeat was dipping lower than the good doctor felt comfortable with. Things were not looking good and the potential for a truly dangerous situation was rising fast.

With my blood pressure at 177/101 (my normal being 110/70) I had to have Magnesium Sulfate given via IV to lower my BP and prevent seizures. A good thing to avoid. Unfortunately, Magnesium causes random loss of motor control and is a muscle relaxer. This meant I could no longer get out of bed and had to have Pitocin to keep labor progressing. So, my plan for no medication had flown right out the window. But, since preeclampsia has a high risk of seizures and death for both mother and child . . . small price to pay.

The Pitocin did regulate my contractions and once that happened, Little Alex faired much better giving the good doctor and me some much needed positive news. The Magnesium also lowered my blood pressure and protein levels which brought the potential for deadly risk way down. All very very good.

It also raised my pain levels and took away my way of coping with them.

Not so good.

So, with my birth plan already in shambles and my spirit breaking, I went ahead and asked for some pain medication. The nurse gave me a dose of Nubain and I was soon feeling much better about the whole ordeal.

Again, this was short lived.

Though the contractions were regulating and doing as they should in respect to intensity, duration and spacing . . . they were not doing as they were supposed to in terms of dilation. And at the rate I was going, the good doctor knew I would run out of stamina long before it came time to push. So, it became necessary to speed things along and that meant breaking my waters. This also meant the pain would increase dramatically.

Uh oh.

I had been determined not to get an Epidural since day one. Long before, actually. I had refused to even consider it as an option when Himself and I were still simply thinking about someday having children. And I was still wanting to avoid it at all costs. I was terrified of having a needle anywhere near my spine.

My nurse advised me otherwise. She knew what I was in for and strongly recommended I rethink my position on the subject. There was something about her frankness that caught my attention. She had been wonderful and completely open and honest so far. I trusted her advice, but I was still holding out hope that I wouldn't have to give up everything I had planned for my birth experience. So, we all agreed to proceed with the Nubain with orders drawn up and ready to go for the Epidural, if I changed my mind.

So the good doctor gave me my second dose of Nubain, sped up the delivery process and left me in the care of my nurse until the next round of progress checks. I braced myself for my next contraction, determined to bear it through without further pain management interventions.

My darlings, let me enlighten you of something. Do not judge someone's decisions until you make it though their situations. I thought I knew what I was in for. I thought I knew pain. After all, I had broken bones and not realized it. I had suffered a major internal injury that cost me quite a lot of blood and very nearly my life and only an odd discomfort to alert me something was amiss. I had handled things thus far, surely I could handle the pain as is.

Nope. Not even close.

That first contraction after my water broke, I looked the nurse dead in the eye and told her to get the anesthesiologist and get me that epidural. Nothing could have prepared me for the blinding pain that had gripped me. All of my worst fears were nothing compared to it. The thought of having to face hours of such torture was unfathomable. There was no question, no thought. I was not going to be able to do this without an epidural. And for all my worry, it wasn't bad. I felt nothing of the needle or catheter being placed. I couldn't move my legs, but I had difficulty moving them from the Magnesium anyway. I still felt the contractions but there was no real pain with them. I suddenly felt like I was once again capable of surviving the birthing process.

Finally it came time to push, all went smoothly (for the first time in the whole pregnancy) and Little Alexander finally greeted the world at 12:52 AM on May 31st weighing in at 7 pounds and 6 ounces and measuring 21 inches long. Far lighter than we all thought but a decent amount longer.

I shall pause here for now, my dears, and continue filling you in on the events of the last three months very soon.

Until next time!

Yes and....

A big congratulations to my brother-in-law and his comedy group on their successful Kickstarter and the resulting theatre they will be opening soon!

Himself and I were lucky enough to be able to donate a little something to the fund and also attend the celebration show. Which made me re-realize just how much fun improv comedy is, how challenging it is, and how much the philosophy of successful improv can apply to life in general.

One of the foundations of improv is the idea of "yes and". At its essence, the "yes and" idea is one of acceptance, validation, and cooperation. In improv it simply means accepting your fellow actor's idea and then building on it. A simple concept in theory but often quite difficult to actually execute. However, it is the struggle of merging two different ideas, two different minds, that is half of where the comedy comes from and witnessing the effort and being in awe of it that brings such great entertainment to the audience. Yes is always more difficult than no but the rewards are so much deeper and more meaningful because of the challenge and because is brings people with you side by side.

Life is no different. Doing is always more difficult than not doing, accepting is always more difficult than denying. Yes is so much harder than no. But no blocks forward movement. When you say no, when you invalidate someone's idea or offer, you block progression; progression of yourself, progression of the relationship, progression of . . . everything. No kills growth.

"Yes" allows for endless possibilities. By saying yes you are saying that this idea, this action, is important, valid, acceptable, and appreciated. This feeling extends to the person themselves and gives them all of those feelings: importance, validation, acceptance, and appreciation. These feelings strengthen the bonds between people, allowing relationships to strengthen and grow. And this all allows for further ideas to be exchanged without fear of rejection.

"Yes and" takes the joys of yes and builds on them further. It shows cooperation, that you are willing to expose yourself as much as they, that you are willing to take the same risks, to put yourself on the line as much as everyone else. This helps break the fear of failure. "Yes and" means that no one is alone, no one is exposed or at risk because they have someone with them who will accept them for who they are and trust them.

Yes and. It's simple in concept, difficult in execution, but quite possibly the answer to so many problems in our lives and in society. Take the time to stop and think about how you interact with people and events and add a little "yes and" into your life and see if things change.